raspberrie.com

Something shitty happened.

My bro in law’s fiance/legally wife now had a headache for three days straight. So for some reason beyond my comprehension she thought someone had given her the evil eye. And she suspected it was her uncle. So they take hair from him. But that’s not enough, her crazy sister/mother/family (herself included) now ask EVERYONE at a previous visit for their hair so the poor, poor girl with the headache for three days straight can be “cured” of the evil eye.

A headache can never be due to stress because her own wedding is nearing (as a doctor had told her) - no. It’s the evil eye.

I never meant to say this but this girl is butt ugly. No one NEEDS to give you the evil eye, you fucking idiot.

I always thought she was a kind girl but now it turns out she’s egotistical, delusional and crazy. And she’s moving in with me in the same house by the end of July.  JOY.

Last night I went with my dad and mum and younger sis to DHL to pick up my package. It’s a dress I ordered from E-Dressit, a Chinese factory that rips off celebrity designer dresses and re-creates them at great prices. I got an Elle Saab dress for $98 USD. Well, hypothetically speaking, anyways. Speaking of designer items, what a rip-off people. I find better designed and more creative stuff at places like Aldo and Zara that aren’t super overpriced either (okay, Aldo has been sort of an offender in the pricing department lately but still MUCH BETTER comparing).

Anyways… The bastards at Etisalat blocked Livejournal. WHY? Because it’s a “socialising/dating site”? Really? And fucking FACEBOOK is unblocked? I think Etisalat have their priorities mixed up. You can take away Facebook and leave LIVEJOURNAL ALONE! I’m so bored without LJ! >:O

There’s yet ANOTHER 3aqd party today. I don’t want to go. I don’t feel like it. Visits/social occasions are one of my worst things in life. I hate sitting with a bunch of women and pretending to care to talk. SUCKS SO BAD.

I’m trying to find this elusive Emaratyah magazine. I actually called their editor-in-chief and asked where they selled the magazine! They said co-op and dkakeen and I actually went to a co-op and nothing. I called again after three days and the poor guy said he’d Aramex me all the issues. :/ I told him I wanted to send in some stories and he encouraged me and said I should send in an accompanying image that suited the story, as well. Now I’m fired up and working on my story! I’ll make something in my LEGITIMATE copy of photoshop and send it today or tomorrow, insha’Allah! Woohoo! Oh yeah, he said how’d I know about the magazine and I said I saw him on Sama Dubai and the telephone number I saw on a video on YouTube! Haha, I think he liked that, actually. That’s easy advertising if there ever was one.

Well, wish me luck!

Man… So many truces and arguments. I just came back from Abu Dhabi mall with the family. Bought a black dress from Mango that I’ll wear in the bro-in-law’s 3aqd party next Friday. I’m not being particularly careful with money now, either. As a non-working wife I use my husband’s money, naturally. I always used to think twice about stuff I wanted to buy because I was sympathetic with my husband. But, well, since the travel issue is “not a money problem” then I guess I can spend a large amount of money that would have gone into travel expenses on shopping instead. Yes I’m being mean and I don’t freaking care, he deserves more than that.

Joined a guild in WoW. The people are really friendly. Whenever someone logs online they all go Hi! Hey! Howdy! It’s sort of tiring but nice at the same time.

Besides the above… We’re waiting for the summer sales to start. I am not going to hold back. Beware, my dear husband.

I got tagged by Zainoba! My first ever tag on the interweb:

The Rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you. (Hi Zainoba!)
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

6 Unspectacular Quirks:

1. I cry very easily when I argue with someone. Like, really easily. It’s one of the reasons I’d rather write a letter explaining my argumentative points rather than argue face to face.

2. When I eat peaches I peel off the skin with my teeth so I can enjoy the fruit itself better.

3. Whenever I see lights or the AC or the bathroom fan turned on without someone actually in the room(s) I have to turn them off for waste of electricity and money.

4. If I’m at a mall I almost every time pass by the bookshop in said mall. More often than not I hate all the new books and end up buying nothing.

5. I’d rather watch a program or whatever alone to better assess the information without others’ influence on my opinion.

6. Don’t think this is a quirk exactly but I almost always say Assalamu Aleikum whenever I enter a room even if I’ve seen the people five minutes ago. It’s such a simple thing to do and with such great rewards in the afterlife, insha’Allah, that it’s such a waste not to say it in my opinion.

Erm, since I don’t have much blogs I watch (er, like at all, other than Zainoba) I can’t really tag anyone… Oh well.

Went to Dubai yesterday. Everything was going so well until the summer trip came up. My husband is against it for whatever reason. I told him this year had been extremely hard for me - having your baby and raising it and losing sleep - literally, for MONTHS - over it when I didn’t even want this baby now in the first place. Then he questions why I need to fly abroad and change the scene in the first place. I told him if it was a money issue I will sell my gold and we will go. It is this important to me. But he says be patient, the trip will come that will satisfy me but that’s via his work and so it does appear to be a money issue after all. But perhaps he is embarrassed of his family. How dare his wife want to have a good time and at her husband’s expense and time to boot? I am really angry at this. I don’t demand much of this man. We have a good time together. He is not poor by any means. I live in a little room in their little house and take it. I gave up work for this man after 5 years of university and hopes of getting to work as soon as I graduate. I put up with being net-less for 10 months or so after the marriage because he was being douchey and didn’t set it up for me. I put up with the sexist shit I see on a daily basis via their the sons dealings with their sisters. We went to Turkey in 2006. Isn’t it enough, he says?

NO.

Back when e3ashig.com had a forum, I was the “free” one who would cuss, speak her mind and just generally be rude when it was called for. I even posted a story with - gasp - a kiss in it. I got a private message berating me for posting it. Then when the forum was finally in its last stages they had actual “offenses” listed next to a member’s name and I had one, too! Until now I don’t know what exactly it was. Oh well. I was just thinking this because I read a lot of random blogs, and some of these blogs are by khaleeji people who use words like fuck, gay, sexy, bitch loosely. I am just amazed because people around me seem to have things easy and I always had to “break the ice” in regards to lots of things in my life.

I just called my mum. She was sort of wanting me to, she told me so. She said I should come by and visit so they could see my son. Everyone is in love with my son. I, being the biased mum of said son, cannot blame them. Submit to the power of his adorable cuteness.

I went to the gym! Man, there were A LOT of women training there. I thought I saw my bro-in-law’s fiance but it turned out to not be her. I thought it was so damn cute if it were her. Oh, I know for sure she’s either dieting or exercising or doing both at the moment seeing as the wedding is in the last of July. My sis in law goes with me to the gym. She has lost so much weight, masha’Allah. I want to lose six kilos for the upcoming weddings. Speaking of weddings, a girl of my qabeelah got engaged… to a divorced man who remarried and is STILL married and with children. But they’re “separated” and he’ll totally take his third wife to Switzerland and oh can he take his two little girls from his previous-marriage-but-still-technically-married with him to their honeymoon?

FUCKED UP. But the girl says she has ista’7harat, and she has refused this guy multiple times before but he keeps proposing. I suppose him being ma6awa3 helped make her decision seeing as she’s religious, too. But he’s not the only ma6awa3 in the world. And being 27 or whatever is NOT old. I just hope he keeps his word and actually divorces his wife after she… gives birth. Yes, he goes proposes and will marry another woman before his current seperated wife delivers birth to his own child.

FUCKED.

UP.

Why do ma6awa3a give a bad name to ma6awa3a? Help me answer this one. This girl’s own brother got married to another woman and goes and stays for more than a month at his new wife’s place. And then when he finally comes back to his first wife he stays less than a month and is then back at his second wife’s place. So much for fairness.
SIGH.

My life is so boring. I do practically the same old things every day. I get up, check the net and browse the same old stuff, play WOW, make lunch if I’ve had a decent night’s sleep, drop my son off to the grandmum downstairs, sleep, wake up and have a late lunch at 5 pm or so, sit on the net for a while, go downstairs for a while and sit with my sis in law and her bros and sisters and parents. If I feel like it I may bake something. I go sit on the net reading stories, opening a new blank document on the hopes of writing something worthwhile, read articles on Salon, read gossip and fashion sites, play WOW, have some quality time with the husband and son. Have dinner, sit with the family, sit on the internet doing the same stuff. MY LIFE IS SO BORING AND WITHOUT DIRECTION.

I haven’t called my mum in a week or so. I don’t have anything to say to her. I don’t even want to think of her or my sisters. They came to visit here so I know that insha’Allah I will not be accounted for giving the silent treatment because three days straight makes your salat unacceptable. I had treated them kindly when they were here. So insha’Allah it has not come to that. But the week I stayed at my parents’ house has killed any desire for me to communicate with my family. I used to think living in my inlaws’ house was the meaning of torture, of HELL. But it’s funny how I’ve come to think it somewhat the other way around. Three years and a half can do that. I can’t underestimate the power of time.

My husband went on a cruise trip with his friends from work. He’s actually there now and he’s spending the night on this cruise. Do I like it? Of course not. I am really upset and frustrated that in this stupid fucking society I cannot do the same with my own friends from work. 1. My husband won’t let me work in the first place. 2. I can’t go out whenever I want. I have to be accompanied by a male that is related to me somehow. Dark thoughts are filling my head as I type this but since my husband is loving and attentive for most of the year I am letting this one slide. I AM going to the trip to New Zealand/Japan, Allah willing, and my husband will not have a solid argument for leaving me alone like this. It’s funny. I wasn’t always this clingy. It’s because my husband is the clingiest male this side of existence that it somehow seeped to me and I’m paying the price - TWICE. Irony.

I am in a writing mode, thank Allah. I want to write grandiose and funny literature. I know that’s sort of an oxymoron in some people’s minds but in mine they are in complete synchronization. I am writing in Arabic which is really unfamiliar to me which I suppose makes it a challenge and a joy to my brain - I’m not complaining, brain. Just let me do what I gotta do whether in English or Arabic so long as I’m writing something I genuinely enjoy and putting in values and stuff I actually believe in. It’s a sort of gritty romance (my favorite kind) and it has a kiss in there and some hugs. It’s in Arabic and I want to post it in a forum somewhere where Arabs will read it but I don’t want to be ripped apart because of the kiss/hugs. I’m still looking for the perfect place where people will say stuff beyond varaiations of niiiiice or 3aaayb shu haaaa?!

Man, I wish I was in Norway right now. Walking through the woods. Or better yet on a bike with fresh fruits in my basket and the sun shining down on my face…

Okay, waking up. I am disappointed with myself because I have become so damn materialistic. I have to go out to the mall (any mall) and just buy, buy, buy. Why? Because it’s fun. Because I have the means to do so. Because parts of my life are empty and I want to fill it in? That’s some American psychobabble right there but I don’t know how to describe it. I found a plastic-wrapped book that I had bought from Magrudy’s, one that I wanted to read. But as soon as I’d bought it I had forgotten about it only to find it days later. I hadn’t even missed it and that worries me.  Sometimes I wish that every dirham was not my husband’s earning and that I had to earn it myself so I would feel its worth and thereby feel the worth of the things I buy and think twice before deciding to consume something. Of course, my husband won’t allow me to work so there goes that. But that’s the way I feel about it. My husband rarely refuses anything I ask and I believe it has spoiled me.

Me and the husband went to Virgin Megastore because he wanted to pick up his PDA from their workshop. I checked out the stuff there and found yet another Saudi book by the name of Saoudiat. Wow. The cover depicted a woman wearing a knee-length skirt with a jacket, her hair open, her abaya thrown over her suitcase as she sat on a bench in an airport. It was meant to agitate. My husband said to let it go and I decided to search for it on the net. And I found it and read it. Let’s say that these female Saudi writers are soap opera fans. Of the worst kind. There is really no literary merit. But the thirst for them to provoke and raise issues is what causes the fuss, I guess. That, and the revelation of the traditional secrecy surrounding high-class Saudi families (or so these books claim) so it should satisfy some people’s curiosity. It makes me want to be a hack writer too so I can enjoy financial success and fame. Guess I should keep looking for the electronic typewriter and make sure it can type Arabic characters, too!

My mother and sisters all hate and despise me. I’ve heard it, seen it written, the evidence is there. It’s such a joke that I’m the oldest in my family. I won’t change because you don’t like my personality, because I’m supposed to be a traditionalist role model - I actually really like who I am, not many people can say that about themselves. I’m not the kind to cause a scene or a big fuss because I’m upset. The funny thing is the other side always seems like the victim and I’m the aggressor when it’s usually the other way around. I’m an antisocial person, I don’t like confrontations, I don’t like encounters with people period. I hate that I have to say this but I can’t stand them. Allah has given me my husband. I’m so glad he’s in my life and that we are in love because my family always have the meanest things to say about me. All I can say is that Allah knows the truth and my intentions and that is all that really matters.

I can never settle on one activity. I always want to be moving around doing a bazillion things at once. I never get anything done and I’m restless and jittery to boot. It sucks.

My husband left today for Mecca with his mum and grandfather. Today sucks so much. :< I miss him already! He told me if I wanted anything from there but I almost never want anything when people leave. Though I did say two tickets to New Zealand and Japan would be super! “From Mecca?” “Yeah!” Hahah.

I have so much junk food around me. I swear if drugs or alcohol was halal… I don’t think I’d be alive today. I have too much of an addictive personality.

I went to uni today to visit my professor. She hasn’t changed much, only cut her fringe so she actually has one. Her fringe was always long and blended with the rest of her hair. It’s half gray and half brown, she has blue eyes and a beautiful smile. It was so good to see her again. I hugged her and we talked about stuff. I talked about my boy and how my husband still won’t let me work. I showed her my boy’s photo on my mobile phone. Her reaction to it? “He’s so cute!” Fifteen minutes later my friend in HR: “He’s so cute!” Hahah. I’m glad that is the general sentiment.

My professor and I talked about Turkey and how people there are so rude. Well, actually I did the talking on that. She goes every year to Turkey, you see. I went in the summer of 2006 and boy oh boy were people rude to us. I didn’t get a real reason as to why but I told her me and my husband believe it’s because Turks generally hate Arabs. On one tourism website on Turkey one of the sayings there were: Don’t be stupid like an Arab. Charming. Lisa is nice, though, and defended them saying that people have warned them of the anti-American sentiment there because of Iraq but that she has not felt it or that she has gotten used to it over the years. I told her my husband can take up an offer to complete a doctorate degree in Japan for three years. She said that the first year is the hardest and then you get used to it. I’m still living with my in-laws in a single room for the past three years. I have a feeling going to Japan with my husband and my son sorta beats that by miles.

Haven’t slept since yesterday. I hate this so much. I have been suffering from severe insomnia ever since the birth of my baby last June. I don’t know how many times I will have to deal with this. I long for the days when I was childless and husband-less and free. I always, always remember this exact moment in time when the sun was shining through my room’s window in the afternoon and I came running up from downstairs and laid on my side on my bed reading manga on my laptop and eating chocolate biscuits. The acute satisfaction and sheer joy of that moment is something I completely miss. I miss it with all my being it almost seems unreal that I cannot go back to it, that there simply must be a way to go back…

My husbands’ brothers make me SICK. They treat their sisters like their personal maids. Make me tea, iron my ghutra, bring me my keys, serve me lunch, carry my dirty plates to the kitchen after me, give me the remote I want to watch football…etc. It never ends. They are the most disgusting men specimen I have ever seen. Sometimes I scare myself with how much harm I wish they would meet.

I’m watching the most amazing anime series right now. It’s called Seirei no Moribito and it features one of my favorite things ever in popular media that reduces me to a shrieking, excited fantatic: a woman who fights and has dignity and morals and is not scantily clad. Bonus? She’s almost thirty. Usually it’s damn near impossible to have all of these but it is present here and the find is oh so sweet.